you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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