That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
