Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
