One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Farmville is her only friend.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
