I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
