i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
