Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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