how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
