I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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