you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
