Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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