I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize