Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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