he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
