I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
please don't ironically join a cult
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