People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
