everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
