We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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