What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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