My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
