dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
