Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
