i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
