Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
