Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
