hell yes lets make some ravioli
...so i touched it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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