hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize