After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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