I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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