A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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