We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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