Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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