Nicole vs. Life
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
