Only a mothe r could love this liver
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize