think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
