Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
