im six kinds of drunk right now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
