i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
