theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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