tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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