Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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