He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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