Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
