Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
