Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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