i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
