You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
