His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
