Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
