are you still at the devil's house?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
