So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
