just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
