I heard we made out
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
