those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think my vagina is haunted
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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