they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
