I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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