And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize