my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
