Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
