I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
